Unfortunately, as I had hoped, my rise to stardom has not happened…as of yet. I am not the overnight success. While I am not devastated by this, it is a bit disappointing.
So I decided to the positive approach using tools like research, blog sites, burning the Google’s search engine with so many search topics I had to deal with the constant freeze of the site. It could have been my connection but that didn’t stop me.
What I found was very disconcerting. Articles depicted the partial silence of the African American culture. But then I had this thought, that can’t be! I’ve heard of many authors from this ethnicity, their success, their claim to fame. But little can be found of them unless you type in their name directly. And why is that? How come they are so distinctly sectioned off?
Then I decided ok, I will just follow the blog trail. I joined countless sites, liked, followed, and referenced many well known Indie authors who made their millions on Amazon or Barnes and Nobles.com. I scoured the internet universe hoping for one small lead that can get the results I dream of. And still, my tired stiff fingers coward from exhaustion.
Where is the African American Author population? How come they are so hard to find? How do authors like Erick Jerome Dickey or Terry McMillan get to the height of there success? Why aren’t there more bloggers helping others in this area? Or more importantly why does it cost so freaking much for an Indie author to get exposure on the small sites that are available?
My heart felt like it was breaking. I was discouraged. There are many issues I can go into about unfairness, the separation of this or that, the inequality when we are promised equality…but I wont. Because that will open up a floodgate of debates that I personally don’t want to participate in.
It leads me to wonder how many more sites must I join, how many more hours should I spend searching for the impossible, because that’s what this feels like… impossible. Please have no pity here. I am not writing this for sympathy, but more out of the quest for knowledge as to “Why?”
I had a vision. When I write I can almost feel like a twin sync between my characters and my own nature. I tell their stories, see through their eyes, feel with their heart and think with their mind. My greatest joy I have found in the most recent months is to share the words of these forms call characters that need it to be shared. Yet, how can I establish a following…a steady following that enjoys written word? How can I seek something that seems so impossible…How the heck does these other bloggers get their followers? How long did it take for them to establish such a vast fan base? And where are all the readers who would enjoy the type of mixed genre I write?
I don’t know the answers, but I will say I have had a renewed sense of thirst to find out. I will continue blogging even if I have no readers. I will continue to write even if no fingers turn a page in my book. I will continue to publish even if no one buys it. And I will continue to research, join and revisit sights that may help boost my followers and confidence.
I am hoping with all my heart that one day, maybe soon (crosses fingers) that universe will shift favors upon me. I hope that what I am seeing is just a mishap. One can only hope, have faith and dream. Because without those key elements I don’t think I would be able to call myself a writer.