I had been planning to start off today as Throwback Thursday with a Valentines Day feel. My original article had been about R&B group sensation 112 with their ever popular song “Cupid”, very Valentines Day appropriate.

But that all changed as I listened to the radio and people harped about how the day is just a scam for people to spend money on things they don’t need. Others protested because everyday you should express your love, not just today. And there is the usual- “I’m single, why should I celebrate?”

Valentines Day is a national holiday celebrated not only in the USA but around the world. It is like a plague, once one is affected by it, the contagiousness of the holiday bug will spread. Though I wont say it is a horrible sickness, its supposed to be filled with a highly acclaimed emotion that people seek throughout there life.

So I decided to pick apart the Holiday in order to get to the root of the problem that many find during this celebration.

Origin of Valentines Day

Valentines Day was originally in celebration of Saint Valentine in Rome. A priest that was said to have been imprisoned for performing weddings for Soldiers  forbidden to marry, and for ministering to Christians being persecuted by the Roman Empire. To check my facts or to read more go to Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day

Saint Valentine is being recognized for following his own principles by sharing love and helping others.

How different cultures celebrate

Valentines Day is celebrated, although on different dates, by many countries throughout the world. It is said that Asians from China and South Koreans tend to spend more during this celebration of love.

I thought it was pretty hilarious while I was searching my favorite site- Wikipedia for info on the origins of Valentines day and how other cultures celebrate, to find that South Koreans have three different days with which the celebration takes place.

On February 14th women give chocolate to men, the men give women candy but not chocolate candy on March 14th. All the single people eat black noodles on April 14th in mourning.

Valentines Day is celebrated in Europe almost in the same context as it is in America. To check my facts or to read more go to Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day

How the holiday affects the Economy

What some people, the negative viewers of this holiday don’t seem to get is that this holiday brings in so much money that everyone involved takes away a tiny blessing.

For one, the population is so affected by stress we look forward to little things. It is not everyday you remember to tell someone you love them, make time for them, or show your appreciation. I bet if people did do this daily the divorce and break up rate would go down dramatically.

Like any holiday; thanksgiving, Christmas, St. Patrick’s day and so on, people tend to come out of their pocket no matter how frugal their budget is, they still spend. So think about it. The large stores like Wal-Mart or even Target, the small Mom and Pop stores you see in a plaza all receive an eye catching surplus of business on special occasions. This money that the celebrators spend help with insurance premiums, expansion, job wages or pay checks, new products….and the list goes on.

So how can we say it is all a scam? Small business owners have been straining to stay open since the downfall of the economy a few years ago. They are holding on by a string. And holidays like today give them the business they need to keep on going, to have that hope that their dream can still be achieved.

Families tend to give more encouragement, more love and affection on a day like today. Yes they should always show these emotions but when you are a full-time worker, parent, husband and/or wife, shuttle for errands and extra activities, a tissue for boogers, a cook, a repairer of the home- who the hell has time to even think about saying “Hey, I love ya kiddo or babe” or whatever it is you are to your significant others.

Let’s not forget that now they are saying there are over One million people with mental health issues in the USA alone. These people are so bogged down with their own emotional turmoil it takes a public holiday like today for them to stop fighting their inner monster to even say “I think you are awesome!” to their family or loved ones. 

What is wrong with giving love?

One of the things that puzzle me is how many people gripe about Holidays in Particular. They don’t see the bigger picture of how these publicly acclaimed days help us as a society. It brings in positive vibes, pushes people closer together. Valentines Day alone, gives people the courage to open up to a secret crush or tell a loved one they are sorry after a rift.

How can anyone see wrong in giving love? How can anyone shy away or become bitter when seeing the glory of how love shapes the core of people’s lives? It brings me to mind of how cavernous the mind can be. How different people really are. Today I see the day as a clever way of showing my heart to others. Someone else who hates today might spit on me.

It’s a shame.

Share the love people

I am not saying there are no scam artists out there. I am not saying that people don’t see opportunity in such a high grossing Holiday. But when you take the fun out of giving and loving someone, you take the joy out of life as well as out of love.

I have always known my purpose in life. When I was a kid I wanted to be everything from a Doctor to a Fashion Designer, from a Cartoonist to a Hair Stylist, I never knew for certain until now, which I am striving to be an Author. But one thing I knew with my whole heart was I was made to love. I don’t feel complete without it. I can’t get out of bed without it. I can be very angry if I don’t get to express it. This is what I was created for; it’s what I always knew I was capable of, what I excelled at. Loving my family, my friends, and my children is one of my greatest achievements. It’s what I was born to do. Now I am not saying I am perfect. I am not saying I am always bubbly and positive, I have my days. But what I am saying is I strive to love. It’s what I do best. It’s what makes me happy. It’s my air.

So I may not be able to relate to those who despise the Valentine Holiday, but I think they should take a look at how much it affects the population, and how many people see a positive side to what this day does for all.

There will always be thieves, violence, and discouragement as we do not live in a perfect world. We may strive for perfection but it is an unachievable entity. We can only do the best we can with what we are given in life. So take a second and share the love people. It is only one day out of your life every year that you can brighten someone’s day. Show them that they really mean something to you.

Happy Valentines Day to everyone! With this post I share with you my unconditional love. I don’t know your walk of life; don’t know your troubles or sorrow. I may not know what you have been through, going through or will go through past today. But I share this with hopes that you will receive many blessings. And in return, I know that doing so makes me feel good. That’s all this day is meant to do.

My favorite songs to listen to today in honor and in spirit of love:

This I promise you – N’Sync

Cupid- 112

Sweet love- 112

Complicated- Nivea

I wanna know- Joe

If I was your man- Joe

Beautiful disaster- Kelly Clarkson

I’ll make love to you- Boys II Men

I surrender- Celine Dion

If walls could talk- Celine Dion

That’s the way it is- Celine Dion

Stick wit u- Pussy Cat Dolls

Sober- Pink

Pill- Pink

Soar- Christina Aguilara

I turn to you- Christina Aguilara

Ribbons in the Sky- Stevie Wonder

Slow Jams- Baby Face, Tamia

You put a move on my heart-Tamia

Angel of mine- Monica

Love all over me- Monica

Diary- Alicia Keys

If I aint got you- Alicia Keys

Diamonds- Rihanna

We found love- Rihanna

You love me- Jill Scott

Is it the way- Jill Scott

The Truth- India.Arie

Purify me baby- India.Arie

You- Jesse Powell

I love you- Jesse Powell

If I- Jesse Powell

My all- Mariah Carey

Music Box- Mariah Carey

My love is your love- Whitney Houston

I believe in you and me- Whitney Houston

I will always love you- Whitney Houston

Saving all my love- Whitney Houston

Along with a new look to the DWED blog, there will be new categories added to enhance our presence here in the blogger world!


Newcomer Mondays! -Starting 2/18/13

This segment will welcome any new author, blogger, and followers! Each Monday will we host a spotlight on those following from facebook, twitter, Goodreads and our site, so feel free to comment, join the site or send me a direct message via our contact form!

Book Trailer Tuesdays! - Starting 2/19/13

Each week we will be posting our favorite book trailers found through Youtube. As the segment heats up we will have contest and rewards for the best book trailers! So look out for this segment, we may need your help casting votes!

Throw Back Thursdays- Starting 2/21/13

This segment will feature topics in various genres of music, books, art, culture etc. Feel free to contact us about what topic you would like to see featured in this segment!

Giveaways coming very soon! In Honor of my upcoming release Blitz (date pending) we will start having Giveaways such as: free books, discounted coupons, gift cards, products and more!


We will be featuring contests! As we brain storm contest ideas we will keep you posted on our first contest! Follow us for instant updates! You don’t want to miss this!

I am still very new to the blogging scene. I don’t have the facts of life, knowledge of all things worldly or a PHD in Psychology. I can say I am a normal person. I go through life like a zombie in Resident Evil trying to figure out what the hell I am doing in this here life of mine.


As you can tell from my earlier posts, I write with a sarcastic tone. Sometimes I try to be humorous, crack a joke here and there, and see life from a lighter side. But we all know there really isn’t a lighter side. In the last year of 2012, we have seen so many stories about prejudice, violence, invasions, wars, thefts. So how can one even think there can be a lighter side?

So I have done some research people. Everyone has a darn blog these days. They have blogs for Women only, Men only; sex, children, books, and self help… so on. And what is the true purpose of all these blogs? Why do I have a blog?

Well, I know why I have a blog. At first it had been about me and my work. Suddenly it progressed into helping Women deal with the day to day stresses of our lives, how to cope and overcome. Now? It’s to help self published authors like myself get the exposure we so crave and deserve. It’s a vomit blog, it has everything. But is there really a need?

I would like to think so. In my search I tried to find out how to gain maximum exposure without seeming selfish and greedy. How do you get people to actually read the thoughts in my head or the words of wisdom I want to share?

Marketing. That is the tool, but to do so is a headache in and of its self. If I had the time I would log the hours I spend Googling crap I really don’t want to think about at the moment. I would pay someone to do it for me, but that’s not an option. How does one become successful at blogging?

A lot of the groups I am associated with on Goodreads have a category called “Follow for a Follow”. But even when you bring in followers, does that mean they value what you put out there? Are they really interested in your blog and what you put on there? No one likes vomit. It stinks, its gross and it’s ugh, so disgusting. But that’s how I relate it. Blogging is almost like vomit. You put so much out there; time, effort, passion. But what are we getting in return? A hollow follow?

My hope is that I gain a vast audience that actually reads what I write, what guest bloggers will share, read the books that I highlight on my page. Is this a shallow dream? Can it be captured? I do surely hope so.

I am not writing to offend. I am sure there are very helpful, insightful and fun blogs out there that get the audience they so desire. And I would love to hear about these blogs, to make sure I am not loosing my mind.

Care to share? Feel free to comment and tell me about your favorite blog.

P.S. As I researched my question, I found a post similar check him out


Check out Feed My Need for an exclusive interview with me, done by the ever creative Larissa Hinton!


AHHHHHHH!  I am screaming in my head! It hurts! Seriously!


Ok so my head is exploding at the moment. I need a true Zen moment here people! So overwhelmed…ok…ok…breathe, stretch…shake….ok letting it go.

Now, here is my problem. I am a newly self published author- started in June 2012 and guess what…I have not found any real success. O.O (those are large eyes by the way, hoot hoot!)

Any who….despite this I have come to the realization that I have done it all backwards. First I published Deception my first novel on Lulu.com because I read about it on Amanda Hockings website/blog and said hey if she got her millions of readers I got talent I can do it too! Wrong! Very wrong.

Why? Because I didn’t do the research people! So I said ok, keep writing something will happen….WRONG. Not discouraged. So I started my own blog on blogspot.com, hated it. Deleted it- started over on Weebly.com. Still hate it. Then somehow I discovered Goodreads.com and hey I got a good thing going there….made like four friends found blackwritersconenct.com nobody really posts there but I have faith! I will not stop!

And to my dismay nothing is still happening and I sat for many hours trying to grasp as to why I didn’t have overnight success!

I wrote a small blog post about the unsuccessful sparse entity that is the culture of black authors out there. I got a comment or two followed the commentators and still nothing has happened.

I am not defeated, by no means. However I am very perturbed. How is it that I can stay on Google for several hours trying to find my fellow Indie authors out there (not culturally diverse) and it’s still so hard to find the market I am looking for. Let me tell you, I have been going at this since October 2012 and I still have not found what I am looking for. And why is that? I can’t say. I am still puzzled by this and very much disturbed actually.

I have post-its, loose-leaf paper, and a notebook filled with sites, information that may prove helpful and tiny notes that are completely illegible but I have hope! And faith! I have a migraine because every site I have visited gives you a tease of what information you should know, but do not spell it out for you otherwise you may become more successful than them at least that’s what the anger monster on my shoulder shouts whenever I get frustrated from spending countless hours reading the same old advice over and over. And really if you are an author on a budget more than most of these sites want you to spend money you don’t have on a possible link to getting exposure. But its not guaranteed.

So, this is the dilemma. Do I shape up and shift into another direction…or do I start my own. I mean because I literally jumped into this blindsided. I had no clue as to what I was doing and that very well may sound very stupid…but I can say I learned a lot. I’ve read a lot. I’ve pissed myself off a lot actually but I don’t regret it.

It’s a learning curve and I have found a passion in trying something new. I have always been a DIY girl. I like finding out things, testing it, perfecting it and adding my own tweak to it. That’s what I do. That’s how I operate. Honestly, yes I could have gone the slow route, researched until my eyes bled and then got a publicist, tour host what have you, got a mentor, paid someone to do my book covers, editing, synopsis, I could have had others excluding my family read my work but where is the fun in playing it safe? Since I am undoubtedly very frustrated it is intensifying the urge to work harder, produce more, and get the work about myself and my work out there!

So I dedicate this post to all the frustrated Indie authors out there. We need to find a more common place and work together. So if you are reading this post I would love to read your comments enlist your vented frustration and also have your email, blog or website, and friendship as we power through this struggle, because one day our voices will be heard whether you are a struggling author or blogger. It will happen for you. We all just got to have faith.

So now that I have vented and hashed my temper out on technology, I bid you well, send blessings to you and yours. And hope you have a very happy Wednesday.

Ok Ladies. There is a new segment for moms. It’s called “Nick Moms” and can be seen every night at 10 pm on Nick Jr.


At first I was in a state of gray, stuck between sleep and consciousness, the kids fell off and I had been hoping to have a moment to myself but was actually drifting when the music from Dora the explorer changed to women laughing and having a good time. As I opened my eyes I found myself watching Nick Mom.

While at first I became overjoyed with the fact that they created a segment for women like myself I became very annoyed.

So here is my ultimate pet peeve.

While I am not fanatical about shows in general because of the fake quality they tend to possess I found that the actual shows are in fact generic. The “mothers” do tend to talk about happenings with children, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the funny yet disgusting things that we have to deal with as a parent. However, they were missing a diverse setting. There was not a lot of difference in cultures, depictions of “all” family make-up, age’s variances or topics, ethnicity.

These were women in prestigious homes, didn’t know how to cook or looked as if they could tell the difference between a soup spoon and a cooking spatula. They did have core issues they tackled like teen drinking, but come on…where were the laundry baskets? Why didn’t a teen know how to pack a box? And why wasn’t the house in complete disarray. This is supposed to be reality TV generated for Moms.

It’s like my pet peeve with the real housewives series. I would like to see a “real” housewife. One who can sew a button in five seconds while she sips coffee and plots the meals for the week! I want to see a mom who has crazy hair and no time to apply mascara without bludgeoning an eye out all the while tackling a temper tantrum in mid chaos. That’s a real mom to me. Maybe I am biased because well…that’s what I do. But I would like to see something like that. That is what I can relate to.

Or let’s delve into teen mom on MTV…what’s the point of that show? If it is to scare teens about the drastic changes and responsibilities as well as the reality of how and why those teens are on that show well…it’s not working. In fact I think its setting a bad example.

But that’s just me. I’ve gone off on a tangent. For that I am somewhat sorry. But come on…Where are the healthy real reality dose shows that really depict everyday life? Or is it a rare commodity?

I’d like to know. And I do like the shows they have on Nick Mom. I tune every chance I get unless I sink into a deep sleep where I can’t even hear my alarm go off signaling the start of a new day.

If you would like to tune in there is an impressive show call MFF Mom Friends Forever about two mothers who have a Vlog- video Blog where they discuss all the matters from family to things that will make you scratch your head and go “huh? Did they really just go there?” Yes, yes they do take it there. And it’s very funny.