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Today I am feeling optimistic. I don’t know about you but there is something so very refreshing about a new year coming around. It feels like it naturally removes clutter from the mind and soul. I guess you can bring it down to a fresh start; a brand new day, year, month, hour…definitely a brand new you.

I have decided not to list out my New Year’s resolution because frankly, I never stick to it. I just don’t have the time, patience or wherewithal to stick to something that I will never commit to. So instead I will just do it!

So far I’ve cleaned to my hearts content. Donated clothing, I stuck to limiting myself to how many charities I will donate to. It’s only five dollars a month, but at least it’s something. My soul can rest.

I can honestly say I fed into the whole Resolution baloney like a sucker every year. And when December 31st rolled around I found myself disappointed, deflated, angered by the very fact that I did not stick to this idea of change. And why should I change anyways? My habits aren’t like fat cells that can deflate or inflate with food intake. I am not a bad person. I haven’t robbed a bank or stolen a car. I do my fare share of chores. Ok so I indulge in eating…who doesn’t? Ok so I gossip every now and again…and again who doesn’t? Ok so I could finally lose those ten pounds I wanted to lose before I had both my kids…and maybe I could keep to a strict schedule for bedtime, feed them more fruits and less juice. And maybe I can stick to a budget regimen that will actually keep some change in my pocket instead of spending it on things I don’t necessarily need…But then again…

See here is the problem. We focus so much on what “News Critics” or “Society” tell us we should do with our lives. But there is that key word sticking out there somewhere- “Should”. Not have to do, must do, need to do, and are expected to do. It’s a suggestion. A suggestion that is manifested into a big psychologically draining “Must” in our life that is quite literally pointless. It’s pointless people.

Why do we do it? Why do we entertain such bizarre things? In all honesty we concentrate so much of our person on what we hear in the news, what we read in a magazine that we don’t know our butt from our elbow. And the thing about it is… the kicker that gets me is… we really don’t have to listen or entertain the stupidity of such suggestions.

Like for instance. I am a single mom. No, I was never married. And I am sure some people can find the most dastardly, despicable, mean, and hateful things to say about that. But that’s my life. It is a part of my history that I wouldn’t change if I wanted to. Who is to say that having the most sweetest kids who are the very eyes to my soul in such a way is completely bad? And is my version of being a single mother any different from a widow raising their kids alone? What about a divorced parent? Does it make them horrible too? Or are they better than what people would think of me because they are only single because their partner died or left them?

Do I worry about this? No, because what is right to me may very well be wrong to society. Does it make me a bad person? No, because I will make mistakes or bad decisions my entire life. That may seem wrong to others but hey who out there has made a right decision every single time?

So what’s the point of following the path of someone else’s life, beliefs, thoughts, opinions, etc if it doesn’t necessarily fit with the makeup of my life? Why should I follow a diet plan that worked for someone else when our bodies are not the same? When our lives are not the same? Why should I listen to pop music only because it is the most liked and listened to genre of music in this generation? Why should I wear red just because it’s the fashion industries “in” color for this season?

I could be like everyone else and point the finger of blame. I can say “Hey well if sex wasn’t so publicized in the media  I wouldn’t have sought to have it!” or I can say “It was him he should have been better prepared and protected!” Or maybe even “You know if I had better sexual education in high school or more ways to cope with peer pressure I wouldn’t be in this situation!”. I’ll even throw this out there- “If they had courses on how to maintain a steady loving relationship without intimacy and it wasn’t a factor on keeping your man happy I would have held out longer!” But hey there is never going to be a book on life. No matter how many experts comment on the subject or write books everybody as well as every relationship is different.

As a reference look back in our history. Men courted women for several months before asking her parents for her hand in marriage. And even during the courting period they were chaperoned on dates. Couples married young; at the age of sixteen teenage girls were considered women. Societies view on relationships has changed so dramatically over the decades I don’t think we even know how to go about the whole dating ritual. To sleep with him on the third date or not, that is the question. Make him wait for 90 days is what Steve Harvey says. But that’s not always going to work. The “player” has evolved. Men will wait those 90 days, get the goods and bounce. You can wait until you get married but even now marriage is not guaranteed because Life is not guaranteed.

The media is always telling people what not to do, what they should do. How to live there lives, what to eat, what to look like, what to wear, who is fat, who needs lipo, who had lipo, who got shot, who killed who, who is wanted, who got pregnant by who, how to know if he is cheating, how to have a successful marriage, how many kids you should have, how to raise them, how to cook …I could go on and on. You are the only one who can decide what is best for you.

So live everyday, every moment like it’s your last. This should be the new you. I am just suggesting. You don’t need to commit, follow or religiously go by every word in this blog. But hey, look at your life right now…do you like it? Are you happy? Do you think you need to change?

I will not as they say “knock” a person for following society’s novelties religiously. That’s their prerogative. As they say; to each his own. So I will follow that concept this year… to each his own. I will not make a resolution. I will not wish on a star or throw pennies in a fountain only to wait an eternity for the wish to come true. Instead I will live it. I will commit to being the very best me I can be. I don’t have to change. I don’t think there is a need for it. But I will adjust my world a bit; tweak it so that the people I surround myself with can embrace it as well.

P.S. I laughed a bit after writing all my thoughts. If it weren’t for the media, internet or what have you, you wouldn’t be reading this blog. So I thank you for taking the time out of your life to read this. And I wish you well on your journey to a better you. Not that there was anything wrong with you to begin with. Happy New Year!





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