I think its something that is ingrained in our beings upon conception to seek a greater purpose in life. Having said that, I also believe we have a vague sense that we are incomplete should we not find this purpose.
As women, it is ingrained in us as young children that we are to be cleanly. We clean house, car, children, and habitual spaces as well as cleanse our soul through spiritual guidance in whatever form of religion we follow.
We were made to nurture, protect, and love. Just as we were made to bear children, tend to the sick and needy. Take care of man that is befitting to our nature. In this same aspect of our nature we were made to care, console, to weep as well as be strong, fierce, and agile with a strong presence of mind.
But I think with the times and trials of life we have lost our place. I do not define that place as staying home; I meant the place inside us that allows us to be gentle and genial. We are so buckled down with tasks and chores and titles, we have forgotten ourselves, our inner selves that crave what we instinctually know. It has been tramped down over years of stress and aggravation. Pain and tearful accusations. Hurt and tiredness, and yes sometimes bitterness.
As we celebrate Women’s History Month this March, I hope to include focusing pieces to allow us to seek out and found our natural beings. We need to remember there is room for that person we seem to forget most- Me.
Thinking about your self doesn’t automatically make you selfish. It makes you Humble in my opinion. Think about it. There is 24 hrs in a day, eight of which we use to work, three maybe four of which to travel and run errands. Another hour to make dinner, another for bath, reading and bed for the children. Another hour to make the husband tired and happy. Add to that another eight for sleep- if the extensive chore of making the husband happy hasn’t cut into that time. Oh, let’s not forget the hour used to make you presentable in the morning. So how much time do you really have for “Me” time?
There are still other things to consider. Most of those hours spent on daily routines, think about how much you actually spend thinking of yourself. Throughout the day thoughts are of work, chores, things the kid’s need, doctor’s appointments, activity and play date appointments, birthday parties and gifts, food shopping, things you forgot, things your husband forgot and so forth….now take a second…where did you fit in to all of that?
That’s right, you didn’t think of you until just right now. Am I right? So I ask, how is that selfish if for once you take a second to stop thinking about everyone else and think of the person you normally forget. Do you feel left out yet? Neglected?
And if you are a man, and you can relate well then I ask you…Why have you forgotten yourself?
I am not saying go crazy from this point on- throw responsibility and caution out the freakin window and go psycho.
I am however saying take a moment to think and reflect. Have you lost a part of yourself in the last couple of years? Are your goals still intact? Have you achieved your dreams? Have you had a cocktail recently?
These are some of the things we forget, and I know you may be saying to yourself, I found the time to read this entry or another blog or a newspaper but that’s what? Ten minutes give or take? Is that all you allow yourself?
And what is this article really about?
I’ll tell you. Somewhere along the way on the course you have been on you have forgotten something. Maybe it was a friend who meant so much to you, but somehow you can’t find the time to call them. Well, take a second to do so.
Maybe you haven’t gone to the movies in a year, take a two hour break from life and go do that.
Maybe you have been so bogged down from stress your nails are horrendous, your feet need to be soaked de-clawed and sprayed with Lysol, your hair is a hot mess and it needs a stylist very badly. Take the time and go do that.
They always say life is too short- well we spend half of it doing for others, accepting others, caring for others. What will you have to reflect on, on your last days if all you can remember is taking care of others and not yourself? Why is it ok to forget “Me” and your happiness to strive for others?
I know it’s a part of our genetic make-up but you cannot function properly if you are forgetting the most important person, the most important factor of your life--- It’s you. Because who will care for your loved ones if you are too sick or gone to do so?
Sometimes you have to take a step back and evaluate the situation with fresh eyes. Stress I believe gains more height when you pack more on yourself before you relieve the first cause of it. That tension will never go away unless you ease it. Learn to take on a little less, and do a lot more for yourself.
Find a happy median. Do something that makes you happy. Work on a goal you have neglected. Love fiercely as we were made to do so, and do so with courage, peace of mind, and a sense that everything will be ok even if you let it sit for a minute while you do you.
And if you lost a part of yourself along the way; Find it, make up and move on. Cherish the core of who you are and never neglect it again.